the true goodbye ♥

i know i have been a little quiet lately. i am working on a post that will include a photo tour of our new apartment and “neighborhood” but i haven’t quite finished taking the pictures. unpacking is coming along pretty nicely but SLOW mostly because getting the things i need is a bit of a chore. i can’t just run to target and pick up that helpful organization tub or set of shelves. i am trying to be creative with what i have and then as time and help permits we venture out to places like metro (a mini version of a walmart?) and the construction piața. we were giving a beautiful coffee table that originally came from ikea and right now it is also our kitchen table. i kind of like the asian flare of sitting on the ground while eating! we have an awesome mattress in our room and a pretty cool crib and bed with drawers in the girls’ room. sarah and i decorated the girls’ room and it makes me smile every time i walk in there. 🙂 it is definitely the little things that help.

the girls seem to be back on the correct sleeping schedule for the most part. the only problem is that mercy has gotten quite comfortable sleeping in bed with her mama and daddy. something tells me we might have a few sleep battles ahead of us, but in the long run it was worth the full nights of sleep and recovering from jet lag. i think sleep might be an adjustment once again because addy has gotten quite comfortable with getting in bed with her dohdoh around 5am and falling back asleep until 7:30 or 8am.

on that note, i was sleeping this morning…planning on getting up around 6 or 6:30a and i was getting into that light, dozing sleep around 4:45a. then as clear as daylight, the thought went through my head: my sister is leaving tomorrow. and suddenly i couldn’t sleep anymore. so i got up, found some slippers and a sweatshirt in the dark (although from the looks of things, i think i found my own slippers but this sweatshirt is most definitely not mine). i came out to the living room and made some coffee. may i just interject that we don’t control our own heat source (should we thank past communism? socialism?) and so far it has been pretty warm. but the last two mornings (when it’s oh just -9*F outside), it has been pretty chilly in here!

anyway, i am sitting here sipping on very hot coffee and trying to warm up a little. and i am thinking. i never expected to become close friends with my sister sarah when we were younger. i was an idiot. then she was an idiot. ♥ you can read about it here. but when she moved down three years ago (to southern california) i found myself really enjoying her. and when she moved in with us in august 2010, i found myself becoming really good friends with her. the kind that just enjoy hanging out. so when the Lord started laying it on our hearts to move to moldova and she prayed about the same thing, it seemed natural. we both have a heart for missions, language, culture…the list goes on. she wasn’t made for socal for the rest of her life. {i don’t mean that mean, socal. i actually miss you. but you are your own culture, okay?}

so when she finally came to this point of realizing that she was not suppose to go to moldova with us, i think both of us were a little surprised. maybe even shocked. because honestly, i don’t know why. there really isn’t anything wrong with her moving to moldova, right? i mean…it’s a good desire, to serve a church plant, want to be a missionary, the list goes on. and then we are in the middle of age old doctrinal debates about God’s permissive will and His perfect will and so forth. but i don’t want to get in a doctrinal debate or anything. the bottom line is that both sarah and i believe that the Lord has a perfect plan for both of us and for some reason that we don’t understand right now, the Lord has made it very clear to me that i am supposed to live in moldova and very clear to sarah that she is suppose to live in southern california.

so while i am still struggling with that concept, i have to trust the Lord. my mama sent me this verse:
Psalm 30
11 You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,
12 that I might sing praises to you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever!

i am sitting here and i am wondering, am i able to chose to give thanks in all things? i know i am commanded to in the bible. and i know the Lord wants to enable me to. i take that back…i know He already has enabled me. but deep down, am i going to do it? i look back at when i moved down south in 2005 and i was pretty much all alone and it was a good thing. i wonder if the Lord wants to get me out of the picture for a little while because face it, i am the older sister and stubborn because the older sibling always thinks their way is best. (for the record that isn’t always true!) maybe this is a time for sarah to be alone with her God and trust only in Him. or maybe i am the one that needs to be alone because it is good for me to rely on only my God during this transition of moving my family to another country. oh wait, maybe it’s all that and a little more thrown into the mix.

psalms 30 also says in verse 5, “…weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.” or as my mom reminded me, spring comes after winter. something in me hopes that means sarah is moving to chisinau in spring. i will even wait until spring 2013 if necessary. ♥

we couldn’t have made this move without sarah. that is the honest truth. we couldn’t have flown san francisco to frankfurt to kiev and then driven to chisinau with nine checked bags, nine carry on bags, a car seat, a stroller and two kids. mercy would still be in frankfurt and addy would be in kiev. and who knows what important things would still be in san francisco?! we could not have made it through these past three weeks of extreme jet lag, unpacking, crazy cold temperatures and running places. have i mentioned that we have had to run a million errands in the past three weeks? we have been to the picture place, the lawyer’s, the hospital over and over (where we had to receive a stamp from twenty-five million types of doctors including the shrink when i answered one question only: have you been crazy before? don’t worry, i answered yes, i mean no!) but through that all, sarah has babysat and helped unpack and helped cook and helped clean…oh my, clean! i won’t gross you out with the details of cleaning our bathroom nor tell you of the treasures we found!

so while i am sure sarah has enjoyed parts of being here, i can’t imagine this has been quite a vacation even though she bought her own flight and used up all her vacation time at work for the entire year. and let me tell you, -9*F is no bahama vacation. yet i don’t know what it would have been like without her these last few weeks. and while i know i am supposed to give thanks in all things, i will confess i am still trying to figure out how to give thanks that i might not see my sister for a year. please keep us in your prayers today and tomorrow as we say goodbye. and please keep sarah in your prayers as she travels back to socal (odessa –> kiev –> new york –> los angeles) and then goes back to work on monday.

just a few of my favorite pictures these past three weeks:

muscles and more!

true jet lag

yeah addy is sound asleep in the middle of the day

we found an "american" coffee shop

sarah, i love you and i already miss you. please be smart and safe in thousand oaks without me. i can’t wait to see your daily pictures. please come visit me soon. ♥